I have no idea how, but here we are, three months into 2018. I don't know about you but March is about the time when I realize I'm struggling with those New Year's resolutions. I figured chatting about 8 of the things we need to stop doing in 2018 would be a good way to hit the refresh button on our resolutions.
I say "we" but I'm mostly writing this post for myself if we're being honest. Let me preface this post by saying that I am guilty of ALL of these things. We are all guilty of at least some of these things because no one is perfect. I don't want someone to ever come across this blog or my Instagram or any of my social media and think "She's perfect, she's got it all together." Because the truth is that I don't!
In 2018, I'm striving to make myself a better person and the world a better place. And that starts right here with this list of 8 things I want to stop doing in 2018. I actually got the idea for this post on Tumblr, something I've been loving a lot lately. I used to practically live on their in the wee late hours of my college days.
Anyways, I have always wanted my brand to be authentic and real and relatable so I hope this post helps get that message across and gives you some food for thought!
1. Playing the Comparison Game
It seems like the phrase "comparison game" is one of those buzzworthy words/phrases that catch on every once and a while. I don't know about you but I have heard the saying "comparison is the thief of joy" so many times in my life. And you know what? It's true. Social media has just taken something that has been said for ages and magnified it exponentially. When you're scrolling through Instagram what do you find yourself thinking? Is it "Look at her, living her best life!"? Or is it something more along the lines of "Why can't my life look like that?" Chances are, it's probably the latter. I know this is something I struggle with a lot, so much so that sometimes I have to completely take a break from social media to get my head back in the right place.
It can be so easy to play the comparison game on Instagram and lose sight of yourself. To try doing what other people are doing because it works for them. But the truth is, no one wants to see 100 of the same type of picture clogging up their timeline. Be you. Be authentic.
2. Doing things you don't want to do
Ugh. This one is a toughy for me. I am SO bad at saying no. Which is why I actually made that #3 on this list. But one thing I'm even worse at than saying no is doing things I don't want to do. Our trip to NYC was a perfect example. We had made dinner reservations for Sunday night at the place we went after getting engaged. We were having such a good time hanging out with our friends that we canceled which led to a night of drinking and some pretty nasty hangovers. We had such a great time and I don't regret making that decision because those are memories we will look back on years from now... but I didn't want to cancel that reservation. I wanted to go to Parm and to fill myself to the brim with pasta. But I let others talk me out of it. How many times have you done that already this year?
3. Being afraid to say "no"
Just like the last one, this is a tough one for me. Saying no for me comes in many forms. Saying no to eating out for lunch every day, saying no to overconsuming alcohol, saying no to opportunities that might not fit well with my brand. Saying no is just hard, Y'all. I know there are more than a few out there who can relate. My girl Erica recently wrote a whole post about saying no and it's honestly gold. I highly suggest checking this out if it's something you also struggle with.
4. Being defined by the success of others
I am literally screaming internally while writing this part out. Why is it that every time we see someone who is successful at something, especially when it's something we're also doing, our first reaction is to tear them down? Now, I could go on and on here about how society has made us this way, especially women, but are we just using that as an excuse now to not change things? This topic, specifically, is something that I have been praying a lot about recently. Usually, when these feelings of insecurity come up around the success of others, it's a direct reflection of something going on within ourselves. I always try to think about why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling or thinking anytime this comes up. It's a struggle because I feel like we've been programmed to be this way, but I'm honestly just sick of it. It's exhausting and quite frankly, not good for anyone.
5. Tearing down other women
Guilty. Who isn't? #5 goes hand in hand with four and I think it's important that I spelled these both out, for myself at least. We should be focusing on community over competition and building each other up instead of tearing people down. These are both another of those buzzworthy phrases it seems, but it is seriously SO true. It is also something I struggle with, wholeheartedly.
6. Being so "plugged in"
Of this list, I think this is the one thing I've actually been pretty good at lately. I've set aside an hour each night where I put my phone away to prayer journal and read before bed. It can be SO refreshing to take a step back from social media from time to time. I would love to be able to do it for longer periods and more frequently. Justin and I have also made it a point to put our phones away (AND KEEP THEM AWAY) anytime we are out to eat for dinner. If the last year has taught me anything, it's that time moves so quickly and if you spend all of it with your head in your phone then you will miss so so much.
7. Body shaming of any kind
I've been pretty open with my weight struggle. I did the 21-day fix and even tried to work as a coach because I believed in the program. What I don't believe in, is body shaming. Every one is beautiful and every body is beautiful. Whether your super skinny or have a few curves, you're beautiful. We need to start celebrating normal bodies more. This is a mindset that I'm currently working on because honestly, I hate working out and I love carbs. I also have hips practically the size of Texas. We shouldn't be focusing on the way people eat or workout or don't. End of story.
8. Harassing people for their political beliefs
We are all entitled to our own opinions. Whatever side you stand with, don't harass others for not feeling the way you do. I got so many nasty messages and comments on a vlog on my feelings after the last election that I had to actually take the video down because of the effect it was having on me. This works both ways and being able to have differences of opinions is something we should be celebrating.